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Archive for December, 2010

It’s been a while since I posted but i hope to get back in the saddle and start posting regularly.

During this very busy time I have been immersed in the birthing world and have had many, varied experiences. Some amazingly great and others amazingly ordinary whiles a few were amazingly horrific. Through all of this I have come to see how people prepare for the arrival of their baby. Some approach this event in a very technical way, others more intuitively. There is great effort and preparation for some whilst others just follow the flow and hope for the best.

This has got me thinking…What are people doing? Many say this birth day will be the greatest event of a woman’s life others claim it is just another day. So how much preparation is enough.

Well let’s take a closer look at what is happening here. We have 2 people who have (hopefully) fallen in love and decided to be together. This decision to be together hasn’t been entered into lightly. Some people may decide to have a formal union others may decide privately to dedicate themselves to each other. For those choosing a formal union there is great preparation. Think of how much work, time, effort, money and preparation goes into planning the wedding. There is the dress to find and try on. Multiple dress rehearsals are done before the right one is found and then it will be the best one that can be afforded. same thing goes for the venue, the menu, cake and invites. The happy couple doesn’t just pick at random and hope to get a good enough result, they plan for month in advance of the great day. Nothing gets left to chance. On the big day all their efforts pay off as things go smoothly (or mostly) and the wedding happens like a dream.

The honeymoon is also not left to chance but a location is decided upon where this newly wed couple can go to in order to get to know one another intimately away from prying eyes. A destination is picked that is far away from the normal bustle of their everyday lives. Meals are eaten out or room service is ordered in. (Who has ever heard of a bride cooking on her honeymoon?) Time is spent gazing at each other lovingly and lying in each others arms, skin to skin. After several weeks this new couple feel well bonded to return to the everyday reality of their new lives together and upon entering this reality they are suddenly aware at how vulnerable they feel. They wish they could have kept that sacred space they had just for themselves a little longer.

So now we have a new family of two that has bonded and loved one another unto death do them part. What happens when the happy couple decide to have a baby? Should the same process not be followed when adding another member to this family? Why should the child receive less attention and preparation? It is disconcerting to hear how people choose a caregiver because they were affordable and how they won’t do classes or have a doula because it isn’t important enough.

A baby is another member to the family. Where is the prenatal preparation and the babymoon? The effort we put into getting married and our honeymoon should be put into having a baby. research the best possible caregiver who has your philosophy and that does not expect you to do as they want but is willing to do what you want within the norms of safety. Seek second opinions of things that make you uneasy or unsure. Why are we leaving up to chance the next biggest day in our lives? Surely we should be preparing for the welcome this new life into our warm and loving arms. Prenatal preparation is not all equal. Some classes give the bare basics whilst others train you to accept what the hospital wants you to do. Seek out the class that will prepare you emotionally, physically and spiritually to be present in every way at your birth. Make the birth day go as smooth as possible by preparing for it beforehand and not leaving it all up to chance. Your baby’s happiness and health depend on your decisions and choices, make sure you are informed about them. Make each big day in you life something that you’ll want to remember for the rest of your life!

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